Six Months

On February 1st Beanie Bu turned 6 months. It was this time last year that I was wondering if I was going to see a baby alive and well on the ultrasound... I didn't even think about where I would be in a year's time if all went well. And how could I have possibly imagined her?

Beanie Bu is now 67 cm in height (length? she doesn't really seem vertical yet!) and 8.3 Kg in weight. Which just seems an impossibly large amount since she was born weighing 3.2 Kg six months ago!

Six months of growing overflowing love. Six months of looking into those eyes. Six months of breast feeding on demand. Six months of kissing those chubbing out cheeks. Six months of broken sleep. Six months of being amazed by what she can do. Six months of attachment parenting. Six months of baby in our bed. Six months of growing closer every single day. Six months of cloth nappies. Six months of waking up next to a smiling baby and forgetting for a moment how tired I am. Six months of elimination communication. Six months of learning and learning and there is still so much to learn. Six months of baby wearing. Six months of singing nursery rhymes at least 50 times a day. Six months of being defeated over bedtime. Six months of the most incredible never-change-it-for-a-second-most-demanding time of my life!

About Before

The blog makeover is marching onwards. Albeit at a rather delayed pace. I have just finished the 'Infertility Sucks' tab above - please let me know what you think.

It was very cathartic looking back over my old posts and reliving our journey to Beanie Bu. It was made all the more poignant by the fact that I wrote most of it while she was sleeping on my chest in her carrier. I remembered how lost and depressed I felt, how convinced I was that it would never happen for us, that I would never know what it would be like to be a mother. And yet here she is. Sleeping on my chest. My beautiful girl. More amazing than I could have possibly dreamt of. And I am a mother. Doing mama things 24-7. Am I tired? Hell yeah. Could I do with a month of uninterrupted sleep? Yes please! Am I complaining? No. Well maybe just a little...

While organizing my posts I shed a tear or two for the woman that I was. For the pain that I had felt these past years. The miscarriage posts made me tear up the most. Though I am overjoyed to have Beanie Bu, I still think of the Baby Bear that never quite was. Mr. T made a file with all our medical records, scans, test results, letters, everything to do with our TTC journey and he labelled it: The Long Road to Baby Bu. In the corner of the file he wrote 'Always with us in spirit: Baby Bear, Love Mum & Dad'. And I love that he did that. Though it catches my heart every time. And I stop to take a breath.

Inside this file is a poem I wrote. I don't remember when I wrote it but it was sometime down the path of infertility:

I love you already.

I love you with every inch of me.

I can already see your eyes

And hear your laughter.

I already know the joy you will bring to those around you.

There are so many who love you.

I know you are worth waiting for

And I will not stop praying for you.

When you come into this world, we will already know each other.

It will be as if time stopped and the world will be full of love.

Erica & James' 2nd HypnoBirthing story

Erica & James took my HypnoBirthing classes for their first baby and had a great experience. When she got pregnant for the 2nd time, they took the class again to refresh themselves on the material. They took my Thursday night classes in July 2011 at Seaside Women's Health in Encinitas, CA (North County San Diego). Here is their birth story:

When I found out I was pregnant with our second child I knew that I wanted to do things differently this time around. Our first baby, Blake, was born in a hospital and although it was a fairly good experience, I wanted something better. Even though we had a natural birth in a hospital setting, the environment was a stressful one. I was hooked up to uncomfortable and constricting monitors and an IV, while the nurses anxiously ran around. They coached me to push harder instead of listening to my body, and gave me an injection of Pitocin after Blake's birth without first consulting with me. After much research and finding the perfect team of midwives, we decided to have a homebirth for our second baby.

The experience with our midwives, LaShel and Jamin at San Diego Midwife, was incredible; they truly cared about our entire family. Words cannot describe how thankful I am for them! We also enrolled in Carol’s Hypnobirthing classes like we did during my first pregnancy. Carol gave me the greatest gift –confidence. Hypnobirthing gave me confidence in the birthing process, and in my ability to have a safe, natural birth.



Anya’s birth story:

At 38 weeks I woke up at 11:40 PM with some steady contractions that were about five minutes apart. I told my husband, James, that we should start getting things ready just in case this was it. We thought we might do a water birth so we got the birthing pool ready in our bedroom and placed several towels around it. Once we were done getting the room ready for the birth, I began to mentally prepare myself by listening to the hypnobirthing affirmations and Native American flute music while relaxing on a birthing ball.

The contractions continued to be consistent and were now every three minutes apart. They were mild enough that I could talk and even laugh through them. We called LaShel to let her know that I might be in labor. Since the labor seemed to be in the early stages, we determined that we would call her again when things started progressing. Shortly after ending our conversation, my contractions went from three minutes apart to four and then five minutes. I started to doubt myself—was I really in labor? Just as quickly as I asked myself that question, my body affirmed that this was indeed it through an extremely intense contraction. James called LaShel back to let her know we would need her and Jamin soon. I had another contraction and then had an overwhelming urge to use the bathroom. While in the bathroom, I reached down and, to my surprise, felt our baby’s head; she was crowning. Although LaShel only lived six minutes away, I knew we were going to have this baby on our own and was at peace with the idea, as I knew from Carol and our midwives that if things go fast they often go without complication.

I managed to walk back to the bedroom next to the birthing pool when the next contraction came. I squatted and with that contraction, my water broke and our baby’s head was out. Having read the week before on how to deliver a baby, James stayed incredibly calm and was ready to catch her. Just seven minutes after my first intense contraction, Anya was born into the arms of my husband who caught her in a beautiful purple and pink beach towel. What a proud moment this was for James! Blake must have intuitively known what was happening because he woke up and was calling for us. So after our baby girl started to cry and we knew she was okay, James ran and got Blake. The next several minutes were such a blessing… just the three of us together welcoming Anya. It was perfect! About three minutes after her birth, LaShel came running up our stairs and said, “Hi guys!” while laughing. We all laughed; I don’t think any of us could believe what just happened. Jamin arrived shortly after and performed Anya’s newborn exam. She weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces and was 19 inches long. She was born at 1:59 AM, which makes the entire labor only a little over two hours!



Anya’s birth was more amazing than I could have ever dreamed. As with Blake’s birth, her birth was so empowering and a day I will cherish forever. I am in awe of my body and its innate wisdom. I am incredibly grateful to have found such an incredible team of supportive women. Thank you Carol, LaShel, and Jamin for giving me the confidence and the opportunity to have a beautiful homebirth!
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Congratulations Erica & James! What an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing! I hope life with two kids is going well!

If you are interested in HypnoBirthing classes in San Diego, please visit Carol Yeh-Garner's website at www.AWellLivedLife.Net to see Carol and her teaching partner, Kelly's class schedule. There are also several other HypnoBirthing instructors in San Diego as well as throughout the world, so check www.hypnobirthing.com in the Find a Practitioner section to find one near you.

If you are interested in having a homebirth with San Diego Midwives--LaShel & Jamin--you can contact them via their website at www.sandiegomidwife.com.

www.AWellLivedLife.Net
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