Baby Update

I have a feeling she might come a bit earlier than her due date. Just a feeling. Lovely TCM lady thinks so too, after feeling my pulses and the energy through some of my meridiens. On top of this I had another exam by Jane yesterday. The week before Jane confirmed again that she could feel two fingers width of the baby's head and the rest (three fingers width) was down inside the pelvis. She said that the baby probably wouldn't descend much further until labour begun. BUT. A week later and she has. Now Jane cannot feel her head at all, only the tops of her shoulders. Baby's entire head is right down engaged in my pelvis. So it really could be soon...

Jane was surprised that I wasn't walking strangely or feeling lots of pressure in my pelvis. She said often women start walking with an exaggerated waddle almost swinging their legs around as the baby's head is sitting so low in the pelvis. We figured it is all the yoga and swimming I have been doing as I feel very comfortable and relaxed. So grateful for this level of flexibility I have built up over the last few months. I feel so energized and ready to go!! Now I am just double checking our list of birthing things and making sure everything works... whenever you are ready Pebbles, we are too, we can't wait to meet you!

Love Conquers All

After the horrible events in Norway and all the rhetoric of hate I've heard this past week, I felt the need to open my heart and pour out love. It is the only way to combat such senseless hate. I thought of my daughter soon to come into this world and prayed that she would never know such hate. That she will not be discriminated against, hated or insulted because of her identity, her faith. We cannot control what others think or do, but we can steer our own thoughts, our own souls. And I realized that the best defense against this fear is love. When people spit out hatred or scorn, you pour out love in response. It is the only way. Love conquers all. And so I wanted to share this wonderful piece of advice I came across in in one of my pregnancy books that has helped me through this journey. This book has nourished my soul and has helped to build the confident, calm, awakened mother I hope to be.

"Being a great and happy parent is a big job and an honorable one. It is a chance to do your part in giving to the world. Right now, you might be up to your ears in diapers, not have had time to take a shower, be unable to find the cordless phone, and you read these words and think, "What? I have to save the world, too? It's too much!" But it's true. The only way this planet will fulfill its destiny toward enlightenment, when love and brotherhood will reign, is if each of us, within ourselves and in our homes, creates a space for love to grow.

Can you take the singular love for your own baby and extend it out to all children? Can we love not just our own child, but love their playmates down the street with a great amount of care, and also ferocity? Can we love the children half a world away who speak in a different language, who worship in a different way the same God who is in us all? We have an unending capacity for love. Love builds on love; the more, the more. That your children may see you and watch you in that infinite, universal love is one of the greatest gifts you can give them."

Wherever you are, whatever your beliefs, I pray that you have a life blessed with love. May our hearts be full of that infinite universal love that extends beyond borders, language, skin colour and religion.

A HypnoBirthing story-Julie & Rick

Julie & Rick took my HypnoBirthing classes at Babies by the Sea Boutique located in Cardiff, CA (North County San Diego) in February 2011. They took the classes in preparation for their 2nd child's birth.

Here's Logan James' birth story! Born May 2, 2011 at 7:13 pm, UCSD Birth Center:

At about 4:30 am on May 2nd (3 days past my EDD), I woke up to a mild surge, but it was different from the many "practice surges" I had had in the past. I just knew today was the day my little Logan James was going to be born. The surges continued for the next two hours at about 8-12 minutes apart and I contacted my doula, Val Peterson, letting her know what was going on. At 7:00 am, I got out of bed and started getting my newly 5 year old daughter ready for school. I still was having surges every 10 minutes or so, but they were manageable and I could breath through them. My parents were in town for Logan's birth, so when they woke up I asked them to take Eden to school and go for breakfast and I would update them with changes.

After my parents left with Eden, I felt like the surges were getting a little shorter in length and they were stretching to almost 15 minutes apart. Around 10:00 am, my husband Rick and I went for a walk in the neighborhood to keep things moving...we held hands and just enjoyed the anticipation of Logan's birth. I had religiously listen to my HypnoBirthing tapes and I was determined to have a very different birth for my son than I had had for my daughter (tons of interventions).

It was a HOT day, so the walk ended a little earlier than I wanted it to. It was 11:00 am when we got home and the surges were still 10-15 minutes apart, so I laid down for about an hour nap. It was noon and at this point I was gearing up for the possibility of long labor (my daughters was about 30 hours total). I had a 1:00 pm appointment already scheduled with my UCSD midwife so we decided we might as well go and see what she had to say. Since I was 40 weeks 3 days pregnant, I was eager to hear her thoughts. Jasmine (midwife) checked me and told me I was 2-3 cm dilated and 75% effaced. She encouraged us to walk or rest, whatever my body needed, until my labor "kicked- in." So we went to the car and I felt like I should keep moving, but soon after we started driving I felt like the surges were becoming a little more intense and that a "change" might be happening, so I told Rick I wanted to go home. At 2:30 pm, shortly after returning home, I decided to start timing my surges and I put on my rainbow relaxation HypnoBirthing CD. After about an hour, I asked Rick to join me in the bedroom and to stay with me, because the surges were definitely getting more intense and I wanted him to read the balloon trip fear release script.

I could tell with the intensity increasing that I was having some fear of not being able to handle the sensations, and I wanted to nip that in the bud as soon as I could. After reading the script, Rick realized that the surges had been about five minutes apart for over an hour and he thought we should call the midwives and let them know. I didn't want to get to the birth center too early (fearful of being sent home) so I decided to get into the shower while Rick texted our doula and packed the car. The shower was soothing, but the surges were really feeling strong and intense. I worked through them on all fours with the hot water running down my back. When Rick had the car loaded (20 minutes or so later)I got out, got dressed, put my rainbow CD back on and got into the car.

The car ride to the birth center took about 15 minutes and I probably had 4-5 surges on the drive. It was now 5:30 pm and after breathing through a surge at the front desk, the nurse walked me directly to my room. No triage - yeah! The midwife checked me right away and said I was 5-6 cm and 80% effaced! I felt a huge sense of relief knowing that they weren't going to send me home and that the surges I was having were making progress. After Anna checked me, they began to fill the tub, but I didn't want to wait the 40 minutes it took to fill the tub, so I got into the shower with my birth ball. As intense as the surges were, the ball and the heat from the water brought me some relief.

My breathing during the surges became more like a moan, but that seemed to help me and I rocked through the peak of the surges. The surges felt like they were one on top of the other, but she had just checked me and said I was 5-6, so I knew I wasn't in transition yet. At this point, I was beginning to have moments of doubt about my ability to make it through. After 45 minutes in the shower, I asked my doula to check if the tub was ready and it was! I had great expectations that the tub would bring me relief, being submerged in warm water. I focused through one more surge and then got into the tub. When I first climbed in it felt wonderful, but as a surge hit, I realized I wasn't prepared for the buoyancy of the water, and I didn't know what to hold on to or how to position my body.



Rick got in and I immediately had another surge and I thought I might be feeling some pressure in my bottom. I'd only been in the tub for 5 minutes and I whimpered a little that I didn't think I could do it. Val asked me if I was feeling any pressure and I said "I think so" and leaped out of the tub and headed for the bed. Val went to get the midwife to check me and they announced that I was 10 cm!! I couldn't believe it! I was 5-6 cm 1 hour ago...how could I have gone from 5-6 to 10 in a little over an hour? I was in shock...I had made it... The midwives were very supportive and told me I could start "pushing" whenever I felt ready.

All of a sudden it dawned on me that I had spent too many hours preparing for labor, and practicing relaxation, but I wasn't sure how to "push," but I knew I wanted a peaceful entrance for my baby boy. A surge came with a lot of pressure and I began to breath and groan. Beth (midwife) reminded me to focus on my low tone, and I breathed, moaned, ohmed through. It only took and couple pushes and Logan's head and arm were out, but he was still in his bag of waters!! The midwives moved Logan's hand down, which allowed the waters to break and I slowly breathed Logan the rest of the way out into Rick's hands! They immediately put him on my stomach and I felt relief and intense joy! My placenta followed without difficulty and I didn't need any stitches! We did it!!



We had an amazing experience and I want to thank you for all your knowledge and support!
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Congratulations Julie & Rick on having such an amazing HypnoBirthing waterbirth! Thank you so much for sharing about your experience! Enjoy your babymoon!

If you'd like more information about HypnoBirthing classes in San Diego, please visit Carol's website at www.AWellLivedLife.Net. If you are outside the San Diego area, please visit www.HypnoBirthing.com to find a practitioner near you.

If you'd like more information about Julie & Rick's doula, Val Peterson, please visit her website at www.birthdaywithval.com.

If you'd like more information about UCSD's Birth Center, please go to: http://health.ucsd.edu/women/child/facilities/center.htm

www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com

The Midwife

She is here! We picked her up from the airport on Sunday. We are getting on so well and have lots of interesting conversations about birth, the medical establishment and changing attitudes. In fact she told me that recently the Royal College of Obstetricians in the UK recently stated that more women should be birthing at home, which came as quite a surprise to midwives in the UK. With regards to me I am feeling very confident in my abilities to birth and am actually looking forward to the whole experience and am so excited about meeting my baby face to face for the first time. Sigh of wonderment.

The day our midwife arrived she gave me a full check. It was amazing to see someone examine my belly with her hands, gently pushing and feeling around, most OBs just use scans nowadays and have lost this art. She explained to me clearly how baby is lying. She said she can feel two fingers width of the baby's head at the top of my pelvis, the rest of the head is down inside, the baby is lying with her back to my belly on my left side. She explained this was the best position for birth as the baby only needs to turn minimally to be born. She confirmed that my level of amniotic fluid was good and then we all listened to the heart beat on her little machine - which is waterproof and so can be used when I am labouring in the pool. Pebbles' heartbeat is good and it was wonderful to hear it again. I also did some urine testing and all was fine. She has offered to check me whenever I want but would normally only do it once a week at this stage but she said it's up to me if I would like it more regularly. I feel very lucky to have my midwife here 24/7, it has made me feel more confident and calm, that's for sure.

I feel myself getting bigger by the day and I can no longer sleep the night through. I was so thankful that throughout my pregnancy I only ever needed to get up at 7am to pee. Now it has become 4am. And I find it impossible to fall back asleep after this. But I suppose this is a good sign that baby's head is dropping down deeper into my pelvis and that it is getting bigger too. I am also immensely thankful that the temperature has dropped down to a much more doable 32C (89F) and that there is a lovely cool breeze in the air. So our Moroccan July has become more like April. And for that Universe I am very very appreciative. Long may this feeling of well-being and confidence continue.

Getting Organized and then Waiting...

I think I am ready. Well ready in terms of all the logistical baby things. Whether I am actually ready, as in mentally or emotionally, I guess I won't know until baby decides to make an entrance into this world. Can you ever be fully prepared on this level? Probably not.

I am 37 weeks tomorrow. The big 3-7. Pebbles is at term. And it certainly feels like it! Jane, the midwife, arrives on Sunday. Everything is gearing up for this baby to come. It is all really happening. Though I'm not sure if I fully believe it yet.

We have everything prepared for the big day. Birthing pool. Connector hose. Plastic Sheet. Cotton sheet. Towels. A sieve (or as Mr. T calls it the pooper scooper, I seriously am hoping there will be no poop to scoop). A pool thermometer. A small bucket to bail out cool water to make room for hot water. A small hand mirror. Birthing music. Candles. Aromatherapy oils. An electric fan in case the room gets too hot. And we are renting an oxygen cylinder, due to arrive today.

I also have a list of labour snacks which we are slowly getting prepared - including fruit ice lollies, date and almond balls, cold potatoes with mustard and water cress and lots of carrot and cucumber sticks. I also have bought a load of bendy straws. Why? Well a friend of mine started a great blog (www.twolittlevees.wordpress.com). For some reason blogger won't let it appear on my blog list no matter what I try. Is there some wordpress blogger animosity going on?? And the one thing that came highly recommended during labour was having a bendy straw close at hand - as no matter what position you end up in you can always have a sip of much needed water without fuss.

As for baby things, well here are a few shots of what I've been up to this past week:

Nappies! Beautiful soft bamboo nappies and our changing bag. Sitting in their little alcove between the bathroom and the toilet. Waiting for a little bottom.

The baby health and hygiene basket. Muslins, cuddle try organic towel, cotton wool, thermometer and other assorted goodies. Waiting for a little body to keep clean and dry.

We haven't bought much in terms of clothing as everyone has said it's better to wait and see how fast she grows and what she really needs. Plus by November we will be needing warmer clothes for Winter. So we just have a small basket of some newborn clothes, swaddling blankets and swim nappies, she is being born at the height of Summer after all. They sit waiting too.

The organic moses basket with baby sheepskin. It is so cute and so soft. Mr. T keeps looking at it and saying he wants to sleep in there, it looks so comfortable.

All we need now is a little baby to put into the moses basket, the nappies and the clothes... but most of all we want to have her in our arms. Of all these things they have been waiting the longest of all.

31 Years & 36 Weeks

Today I am 31 years old. I started this TTC journey when I was 27. It took the next 3 and a half years to get to here:

This is me today at 36 weeks.

Today I celebrate all my blessings. A life filled with love, tenderness and respect. This is what I get from those around me and I endeavour to give to them too. I am so very grateful and so very thankful. Especially for the greatest blessing of all - this beautiful life growing inside of me with every breath I take. I can't wait to meet you Pebbles.

Tonight Mr. T is taking me and my folks to a very fancy restaurant. I am so looking forward to it. The chance to dress up! I haven't done that in a while and after baby is here I'm sure we won't be going out to fancy restaurants anytime soon. Since I am on my strict pregnancy diet for a gentle birth I am avoiding wheat, sugar and puddings - so we picked a Thai restaurant. I figured that way I would be safe. It's not like they serve you bread rolls on the side! And instead of a cake this year Mr.T has organized a tropical fruit salad. We'll save the cake until after Pebbles is born. Then I really will be able to have my cake AND eat it!

I Like Boring

What a naughty blogger I have been! No words from me for two weeks. In truth I just haven't felt like writing any. Mainly because I feel a little boring right now. You see I don't do much except be very fastidious about my routine. My routine right now is everything - it dictates whether you get a smiley Clare or a grumpy Clare.

And I haven't felt like boring you with my oh-so-important but let's face it yawn-yawn routine. But now I'm gonna. Mainly because there's not much else I can write about (or have the energy or focus of mind to...):

A day in the life of a very pregnant Clare

Wake up time - This tends to dictate my whole day. This is because it varies A LOT. Pregnancy insomnia. Sometimes I'm up at 5am and just carry on through, other times I wake up at 3am and get back to sleep around 6am and sleep through until 10am. And sometimes I actually sleep normally and wake up around 8am. This is the most unpredictable part of my day. I still haven't found the best way of dealing with the insomnia. I try to connect and have conversations with baby. But then my mind wonders and I start pondering all sorts of things - like the Greek debt problem, austerity measures, the routine use of antibiotics in dairy farming - and I realize that a pregnant woman's nocturnal political musings are not going to help the world a great deal and I should really try and go back to sleep, or failing that get up and have something to eat.

I look forward to breakfast so much. It is very routine. Which I like at the moment. Raspberry leaf tea, fruit smoothie, wheat-free pancakes with marmite. Prenatal supplements. Satiated.

If it's not too hot in the day I walk for 30 minutes with the dog. Dog has become my constant companion. He follows me everywhere. When I take a bath he barges into the bathroom and sits down on the floor next to the bath. When I go to the toilet he sits down outside the door. When I sleep he sleeps on the floor next to my side of the bed. When I watch TV he sits next to me on the couch. I am not allowed to do anything by myself evidently.

Then I gather my books and radio and sit in the shade in the garden (yes with dog). When I am getting hot and sweaty I swim in the pool for a few lengths and do gentle aqua aerobics. So dog is not left out I soak him with the garden hose and he cools down too.

Then after we have dried out we come in for lunch. Lunch is a welcome highlight of the day. Then I get ready for some afternoon entertainment - movie or radio now as Wimbledon is over - which I never finish as my eyes feel heavy for nap time. One or two hours of blissful napping. This is the key to a happy Clare. (Well that and lunch time.) If I don't get my nap I do become a raging monster. People kept calling me on my phone during nap time - so now phone goes off. By people I mean Mr. T. He does not remember/respect nap times.

Then I'm awake and feeling good. I do my hour of yoga. Then perhaps another walk around the block. Afterwards I'm ready for a light snack for dinner (it's so hot to eat much then) before my cool water bath. Then Mr. T has to step up for belly and foot massage. We are currently stimulating acupuncture points that lovely TCM lady showed us to encourage baby into the best position and encourage her to drop down into my pelvis. We have also started the perineal massage - more challenging than I thought and really not sexy. Afterwards I practice my self-hypnosis and visualization for labour and birth and then I am usually soundly asleep.

Yes these are lazy days. But it's 40C plus here. And I am nearly 36 weeks. And I forgot to mention that I pee 50 times in a day. And if I don't follow this routine then I can have a tendency to become a whiny b.i.t.c.h. And I did not want to inflict that on you blogosphere. So here is my first post in 2 weeks from a well-rested and smiley-if-not-slightly-boring Clare. But for now I like boring. Boring is good.