One week to go!

One week to go until the start of the second trimester. One week to go until my next scan. One week to go until I hear that beautiful heartbeat again (God willing).

One week to go until we hear that everything is a-okay. Or not as the case may be. One week to go until the Nuchal Fold test. Has anyone had this done too? I am so looking forward to seeing the baby again but also anxious to know that everything is okay. Mr. T won't be here for this scan so I hope Dr. B can record it on DVD and then Mr. T can enjoy it when he comes home.

One more week and hopefully the end to the nausea too. It seems to be easing off now. Except for a few days ago when I vomited on myself at work. Ugh. Very gross. Second trimester here we come. One more week! Eeek!

Pregnancy Goodies

This post has been a while coming. My mum arrived nearly 2 weeks ago and with her she brought many wonderful things to make a new mama 2 be happy. So I thought I would share some of these things with you.

Ah the maternity bras. Actually they're nursing bras (kill two birds with one stone right?) They have a clasp at each corner for easy access. Mr. T really likes this and has suggested I just switch to nursing bras from now on.

The prenatal exercise DVDs. I love love love them. They keep me motivated and I feel so much better after doing them. I'll be honest I've only done the yoga ones as haven't had the energy for the aerobics workout with all my 1st trimester sleepiness and nausea. But I feel I am working up to it. I especially love the kundalini yoga DVD, very cool exercises (some are really challenging- like the one where you have your arms out and then move your thumbs up and down for 3 minutes, no stopping - try it, you feel like your arms are gonna fall off! But it's meant to help you prepare mentally for labour. So I'm game. I've only managed 2 mins so far non-stop, gotta build up to it.) But the yogi lady has a really cool vibe and calming presence and I love the way she talks about motherhood and the preparation of getting to know your baby. She says that yogis believe babies do all the 108 positions of yoga when they are in the womb, so it's like we are little yogis when we are born. I love this.

Maternity clothes! I love them all and I am going to continue wearing them forever! I am very long in the body and I have always had a problem with my tops meeting up with my hipster jeans, too much gappage in the middle. No longer a problem. How did I not discover these sooner? Oh yeah the infertility thing. Damn you.

Supplements. Gotta have the Vitamin B, Zinc, Multi-Vit, Magnesium, Fish Oil, Vitamin C, Pro-biotics & not forgetting the Spirulina - a form of blue/green algae packed full of super foody goodness.

Books! Following my desire to have the healthiest pregnancy I possibly can, these have been great reference points. But the best book of all, which I have had for over 2 years now (gathering dust on the bookshelf) is Ina May's. She is amazing and is making me feel all sorts of wonderful and confident about the next 6 months and the birth to come. God bless you Ina May.

Amazing Pre-Natal Film

If you're like me and are fascinated by the whole real-life-human-being-actually-being-made process then you have to check out this site. It's amazing. The film is called THE BIOLOGY OF PRENATAL DEVELOPMENT. You can watch the whole film in short snippets - I have been logging on week from week following Baby A's development.

The shots in utero are incredible. How did they do that? I am constantly asking myself. And also as an aside - I am so glad I can see this, but also glad that it's not my baby or my uterus a camera is poking out - I know, selfish. But I am also very grateful to the mum and baby who helped make this film. There is so much to learn and it helps me feel connected with what is going on with my baby at each stage.

I really am in complete awe of this whole process. It is so complex, so refined and so hard to fathom that all this can be going on inside of me. And that each of us began in this way - from major organs forming to tastebuds to tiny hairs on the skin. It is truly a miraculous thing.

Mr. T often worries that something is going to go wrong. Of course there is always the possibility. But I believe this is not the way to approach it all. I, of course, strive to do my best - eat well (now I can, the nausea seems to have subsided yay!!), take my supplements, do prenatal yoga everyday and have massage and acupuncture once a week. As long as we do our best the rest is in God's hands. I have never felt that more acutely than I do now. So I tell Mr. T just to have faith. We do our best, the rest is up to the Divine.

This film has also helped me to understand that. To understand that this baby has it's own set of instructions and is guided by something so strong and powerful I cannot begin to conceive of it, but I can feel it. So if you only watch one film about a totally awesome miracle this year - make it this film!

Blogaversary!

Yes it's my first blogaversary! One year since I started blogging - and how could I have imagined when I took that deep breath and began this blog to share my TTC trials and tribulations, that one year on as I sit here and write this post that I would be 10 weeks pregnant. Phew. It's been a journey. But I am so glad and so grateful that on my blogaversary I am pregnant and so overjoyed, instead of lamenting another milestone with no baby news. This is a good day.

Through this blog I have made so many friends and met so many amazing women. This gave me the strength to get through IF and a place to express all these complicated feelings. I will forever be glad I took this step and decided to share my story in this way. If you are contemplating starting a blog yourself, all I can say is DO IT! Whatever you write about, it's a great feeling to have your own space to be creative and express yourself.

Lately I have been out of the blogging loop. The pregnancy fatigue has finally hit me and every time I get to the computer and start to write my eyelids fall down. So while I have loads to share, please bear with me, I hope to be back on the blogging rhythm once I get through this first trimester. Only 2 weeks to go until I hit the 2nd trimester and supposedly I am meant to feel great then, really looking forward to that! Thank you for reading my blog and for supporting me through this journey. I hope to post a lot more soon!

A HypnoBirthing testimonial

Amy & Ian took my January 2010/Thursday HypnoBirthing classes. Here is their birth announcement & testimonial:

I wanted to let you know that Ezra was born on March 9th, at 9:31am. He was 7 lbs, 19.3" long, and entered this world via a beautiful, natural HypnoBirth.

Thank you so much for teaching such a wonderful, transformative class. You know that I wasn't convinced on the idea of natural birth before the class started, but I could never imagine doing anything else now. It was such a wonderful experience being fulling aware and in control throughout the birthing process, and Ezra so wide-eyed and alert after he was born. He is such a mellow, easy baby. (Takes after his dad!)

I can't tell you how many people are shocked when I tell them that Ezra was born with no induction, no epidural, and no tearing. I had stopped telling people how we were planning to birth because I didn't want to hear "This is your first? Talk to me afterwards!" anymore. It is as though people don't realize that it is actually possible!!!!

Just let me know if you ever need another testimonial or reference for someone who is not sure about the class. I would be happy to speak with anyone considering HypnoBirthing and sing it's praises.

~Amy

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Congratulations Amy & Ian! Enjoy your babymoon & thank you for allowing me to share your story. I hope that the non-believers are now believers after knowing that you had a natural birth!

Enjoy your babymoon!

All my best--Carol

http://www.awelllivedlife.net/

http://www.awelllivedlife.blogspot.com/

My Tummy

Sticks out. Yes already. But the baby is only the size of a bigish grape so it can't be the baby. However my uterus is apparently the size of a cantaloupe. So maybe it's that. It's gone from the size of a fist to the size of a small melon.

Or maybe it's just all the bloating. Nice. I feel like I swallowed a balloon. And yes I started wearing my maternity bras and even some of my maternity tops. They just feel more comfortable. Pictures of all my new pregnancy goodies coming up soon. Would write more but.... my head... feels heavy...........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Goodbyes

Mr. T left today. He has gone for a whole month. Sigh. I already miss him terribly.

Though I am hoping this month flies by. It should do as I am working a lot and we are very busy too. And even more exciting, by the time Mr. T comes back I should be (God willing) into my second trimester!

Though I won't be on my own. My sweet wonderful mum has changed her work commitments so she can come and stay with me in Morocco for a whole month. This is such a relief as I was a bit worried about going through all the morning sickness, doctors check-ups and if anything was to go wrong... I really don't want to be on my own at home. Plus my mum is coming out with a large volume of essential supplies that I can't get here. Yay! Can't wait to get my hands on my hair conditioner, face wash, marmite (yum) and my new maternity bras! All this should help my goodbye blues and get me through the next 4 weeks. Eeek by then I will be 13 weeks pregnant!

When Mr. T left this morning I told him to take a mental picture of me as I am now, as I will look different when he comes back. He pulled out his phone and quickly took a pic of me in my pjs just before he walked out the door. I wonder how different I will look in a month's time from that picture he took this morning?

Scanning

So this is going to be a bit of a controversial post, but I feel I have to write it. In the IF world (and I'm sure to some extent in the fertile myrtles' world too) it seems when the unthinkable happens and we actually get pregnant, we then have a lot of scans. I understand the urge to scan. I mean if we could we'd want one everyday. To see the bubba that we have longed for for so long and never quite believed would happen. I understand that urge to see that everything is progressing well, heart is beating and baby is developing just right.

But. There could be a downside. Lately I have read a lot of reports online and different studies in books which bring into question the safety of pre-natal scanning particularly in the first trimester. It does make me wonder, and I can understand the reasoning why that might be the case. I mean it's ultrasound. Sound waves, i.e. vibrations. Perhaps vibrations on that scale when the embryo is vulnerable and in such a delicate state could do damage. In the UK they are not recommending women have scans until 12 weeks, unless there is some special reason to have a scan earlier. Many of the books I have read have advised to only have two scans during the pregnancy if possible. So could scanning actually be dangerous?

In one book I have, the author talks about how there are no legal limits placed on the levels of sonic energy emitted from ultrasound machines and that there is not enough research to show that the current levels are safe.

So. What does all this mean? Well I think each person has to make up their own mind about how they want to deal with this. Personally, I am reluctant to scan too much. My doctor wanted to scan me each week. I said NO. I went for one scan just before 8 weeks to see that everything was okay. Dr. B wanted me back in at 11 weeks and I said 12. It's like bargaining in the market here! He accepted that. I just didn't want another scan in my first trimester. I want the baby to just get on with developing and growing without ultrasound vibrations potentially affecting this process. Though the urge to take a sneak-peak at Baby A is always there. (Baby A is the new internet name for our little bubba. Not because I am so unimaginative I just picked the first letter of the alphabet. Or because we are having twins - WHICH WE ARE NOT. But because A is the first letter of our surname.)

It is a minefield. And when it comes to health and babies, I know it won't be the last minefield we have to navigate. But IF is all about navigating potential minefields. We've been there. We've read the books and the medical reports, we've questioned the experts, we've trawled the depths of the internet and we got the t-shirt. So this is just another part of the journey. Though this part of journey is so much better than the last two years, that's for sure! Yes it is. Even with all the vomiting.

Another Visit From The Stork

It appears that I am not the only one who is pregnant in our house. According to the vet, Tigerlily is pregnant too! She is expecting two babies he thinks. She wasn't very happy about being examined so he had to give up but he could feel two kittens for sure. She is due next month - even my own cat has pipped me to the post!!

Mr. T was in shock. Now I have two pregnant ladies in the house?! Yeah but she won't be as demanding as me and will have no need to buy maternity bras for a start! The vet asked me if we wanted to get rid of the babies but I just couldn't - it's all too close to home and so we are just going to let her have the babies at home. I am actually quite jealous of her. She doesn't get morning sickness, she's only pregnant for 2 months before she gets to see her babies, she jumps and runs about with such agility AND she can sleep whenever she wants! No morning alarm clocks for her, no rushing out the door trying to get to work on time - so so jealous!! Especially since I was hanging over the loo-seat vomiting for 10 minutes this morning before I had to pull myself together and get to work!

She is curled up next to me as I write this, sleeping angelically, having just been attacking my feet. I hope she will make a good mama and not freak out about the birth when it happens - I was a bit worried about her having babies as she is so young. She is only 9 months old and still quite tiny. The vet assured me she was physically able to have the babies and I guess mother nature will take care of the rest. I will start posting belly pics of her soon since her belly will be showing really quickly.

The babies will stay with Tigerlily for 2 months after their birth and then we will be looking for homes for them. So if you live in Marrakech and would like to give a loving home in about 3 months time to a seriously cute kitten, who is clean, healthy and vaccinated - drop me a line!

Don't...

let a pregnant woman go supermarket shopping. Seriously. I am in the throws of nausea and weird cravings which resulted in some very bizarre items in our weekly shopping. Things I haven't bought since I was a child, like weetabix. And it also resulted in massive gaps in our shopping since I couldn't face the dairy, meat or fish counters in the supermarket. Oh well if Mr. T wants it he has to go gets it himself.

Don't tell a pregnant woman not to eat too much so she doesn't gain too much weight over the pregnancy. Seriously? Who are these people and what are they thinking? Five people have told me this already and they have no idea how close they came to that being the last stupid thing they would ever say before I knocked the life out of them.

Don't tell a pregnant woman suffering strong nausea and morning sickness, just to power through and that it's a question of mind over matter. Tell me that again while I throw up on you.

Don't cook meat with a pregnant woman in the next room. This point is specifically directed to Mr. T. I had to sit out on the balcony at night in March (i.e cold!!) to avoid vomiting on the carpet. Hmm maybe next time I will do just that and then that steak won't seem so appealing after all...

Do understand that I feel nauseous and hormonal and that while this is all very very wonderful and it's what I want more than anything else in the whole world - GIVE ME A BREAK, I FEEL LIKE CRAP! Thank you.

Swinging Free

My breasts are much bigger than before. And sore. I don't fit into any of my bras. And more to the point I can't even squeeze into my bras as they are all underwired. And apparently the underwire can damage milk ducts on the side of the breasts. So I think it is time to get some maternity bras. Of course getting these things in Morocco is another story. So I have to wait until my mum arrives from the UK with a consignment of maternity bras.

Until then what to do? Well I've tried my sport vests that have in-built support - they work. But I only have two of them. I've tried my bikini tops - they work too, though it looks very strange to have bikini strings tied behind your neck at the beginning of March. And when all that fails - yes I have been swinging free.

But hopefully not for too long. Just wanted to share with you the two beautiful purchases I've made. I decided to go for nursing bras as I thought these could be more useful for longer. I wanted to buy bravado bras but couldn't get any online stockists that had my size so I went for the very sexy Hot Milk brand. Feast your eyes....

Introducing...

Baby!

The little circular blob on the screen there. Dr. B was very keen to show off his new ultrasound machine and it was my first time to have an external scan! No vaginal scan necessary - I didn't even have to take off my shoes, let alone my clothes. That was a first.

Then Dr. B showed us the sound waves of the heartbeat. Can we hear it? I asked. He turned up the volume and we could hear the steady heartbeat whumping away. Oh my God. It was magical. Do it again, I asked. Oh my God. So amazing. Mr. T was busy standing right up against the screen taking pictures with his phone. We are having a baby. It's true. And so far. Everything is a-okay.

The baby is 12mm in length. Very much a grape (but I think that includes the gestational sac too). And I am due on 17th October. Unbelievable. Yeah baby - it's happening. I am 7 weeks 3 days today. Only 4 weeks and 4 days to go till I reach the 2nd trimester and my next scan. We have a baby folks. A real live baby.

A HypnoBirthing story

Laura Fairchild, the co-owner of Babies by the Sea Boutique, took my Tuesday night HypnoBirthing classes with her partner, Eric, in April 2009. Here is the story of their son's birth:

Linda Goldsmith, my doula, did a birth timeline for me that I would like to share. She documents Rion’s birth story so well. What I would like to add is how much HypnoBirthing helped me so I will explain a little before sharing Linda’s timeline. Once my surges started, I listened to the rainbow relaxation CD and I was very calm. I had listened to the CD before bed during the course and for the month after the course prior to the birth. When in labor, I never felt nervous or scared. I knew that everything that was happening was supposed to happen and was normal. I felt like I really went inside myself and was able to focus on my breathing techniques and visualization exercises. No one else really existed outside of me. My partner, having taken the class with me, was also very calm and knew what to expect and how to support me throughout the labor. Linda, my doula, was also well versed in HypnoBirthing.

We labored at my house for some time then went to the hospital. When we arrived at the hospital we put the CD in and continued our practices. There wasn’t ever a time the thought of drugs or an intervention entered my mind. I was totally at ease. I did feel pain but my body surrendered to it and it did not make me tense or uncomfortable. It was so pure and real and after the delivery I was very awake and clear. I truly experienced and felt every moment of the birthing process and best of all my body did exactly what it was supposed to do. Without the HyponoBirthing I feel I would have been nervous, unfocused, anxious, scared, frustrated, and in uncomfortable pain. I am very proud of our birth story.

Here is Rion’s birth story told from my doula’s point of view:

Laura Fairchild
Baby: Rion - boy
Scripps Encinitas
Physician: Dr. Biter

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

3:30 a.m. Laura had a spontaneous rupture of membranes (SROM) in the middle of the night.

7:20 a.m. She called me to tell me the news. She said she was still leaking a lot of water, soaking six pads thus far. I told her that she should probably reposition baby so that baby was better lined up for exit and also acting as a cork for all that gushing fluid. I suggested she lay upside down on a decline. She did it once and it didn’t really change anything. She did it a 2nd time and it seemed to work. No more tons of water coming out.

8:45 a.m. I called and she said surges were starting. I suggested I come over around 9:30 a.m. She agreed.

9:30 a.m. I arrived. Laura was standing and leaning on her bed. She was breathing very well and talkative, so I knew she was in early labor on her way to active labor. Her surges were every 5 minutes and 20 seconds long.

9:35 a.m. Eric arrived and immediately jumped into to a supportive, helpful role.

9:45 a.m. Laura’s labor intensified. Her labor support team was now there, so this did not surprise me. I sent a text message to Dr. Biter letting him know what was going on as he was in a business meeting in downtown San Diego. I had Laura rock her hips in a figure eight to help get baby in a good position and as a coping technique. I showed Eric the double hip squeeze and he did that while I massaged her scalp and applied cold washcloths to her body that was heating up perfectly. Laura continued to labor very well and her journey was intensifying.

10:20 a.m. I sent Dr. Biter another text…. “3 minutes apart and 30 seconds long, doing great.”

10:35 a.m. Dr. Biter sent a text back… “Should I leave San Diego now?” I sent a text back… “Yes.”

10:40 a.m. Dr. Biter called me and offered to come to Laura’s home to do a pelvic check. I thought it was a great idea and a very kind offer. Laura continued to labor effectively and with great confidence, staying calm and relaxed and focusing on her hip movement and breathing.

11:00 a.m. Dr. Biter arrived. Laura was laboring beautifully and Dr. Biter was observing.

11:15 a.m. Dr. Biter did a pelvic exam and she was 7 – 8 cm dilated, a little more on one side than the other. We suggested that she do some lunges on the low table, which she did for about 20 minutes. Dr. Biter went to go change clothes and said he’d meet us at the hospital when we were ready to go.

11:35 a.m. Laura’s labor was getting stronger and stronger. I really felt like it was time to go. I suggested that to Laura and she agreed.

11:40 a.m. We left for the hospital. Laura’s two sister and mothers were following along.

11:50 a.m. We arrived at the hospital. Laura was still surging very well. The plan was to get a pelvic exam to get officially admitted, then go from there based on the information we were given. She did her standing and leaning against the hospital bed. Jenny was taking some beautiful labor shots.

12:15 p.m. Dr. Biter did the pelvic exam. He said she had “a little more work to do”. I suggested the shower and she agreed. She was in there for 30 minutes. Dr. Biter went and got her a popsicle. Eric and I supported her while she was in the shower. Eric still had her hips and I sprayed the water all over her body and gave her words of encouragement.

12:45 p.m. Dr. Biter suggested she get out of the shower which she did. She went to the bed and began pushing. She only had to push for one hour with a first baby. Her two sisters and her mom were a great cheer squad for her!

1:48 p.m. Calm Baby Rion was born! He was just perfect! He had a very peaceful first hour of life, just resting on mama’s breast, making eye contact with her, hearing her heartbeat, licking at her nipple, and falling asleep. An hour later he breastfed.

2:50 p.m. Everything was perfect and it was time for the family to be alone with their newest, most precious member. I took my leave.


DOULA’S NOTES
This was a wonderful birth! Laura did a great job of staying calm and relaxed. Eric did a great job of supporting her during the labor. Dr. Biter was so kind and gentle. Her family was over the moon with pride at what Laura was accomplishing before their very eyes.

I knew Laura would do well. She is a very focused individual and very loving and caring mother who I knew wanted the best journey for her baby’s birth. She gave that to him on his birth day. What a gift! It was an honor to be a part of it all.

By Linda Goldsmith
Birth Doula
760-633-3344

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Thank you, Laura, for sharing your birth story! Thanks to Linda Goldsmith for such a great overview of her birth!

Just a little interesting tidbit--Laura met Dr. Biter (who co-owns Babies the the Sea Boutique with her) during her pregnancy & it was at this time that Babies by the Sea Boutique was created!

http://www.awelllivedlife.net/

http://www.awelllivedlife.blogspot.com/

A Grape or A Tic-Tac?

At the moment the tic-tac is probably the only thing I could eat right now. The nausea is still strong and I am living on mints and crackers and cupfuls of ginger and honey tea - what a healthy balanced diet! But actually the title question does not refer to my menu choice for dinner tonight but rather two different websites, one which tells me that at 7 weeks my baby is the size of a grape and the other one the size of a tic-tac.

Quite a difference in size wouldn't you agree? So I would love to know which is it - the grape or the tic-tac?