The last few hours of 2009

Okay I fell off the blogging wagon. I was supposed to blog, I was supposed to take pictures over the holidays, I was supposed to do many things... but instead I slept and ate and ate some more and then slept again, before the eating-sleeping cycle started all over. I was so exhausted after my crazy work month in November I couldn't face doing a cinch of work or being near a computer. I have been like a bear in hibernation.

But I decided it was time to crawl out of the hole and come back to life. And what better way to do that than a party! Tonight I am going to a very glamourous party with wonderful friends and I can't wait. I have got my nails done, chosen my outfit (sort of, there are currently two front runners) and getting ready to fix my hairdo. Feels so good to do this and be normal again. And I am more than ready to say goodbye to 2009, the year of no babies. Maybe 2010 will be the year for me?

And blogosphere, I actually have hope that it maybe THE YEAR. I have some very important news to share with you: Mr. T got his SA done a few weeks ago. Oh yes. His numbers were 36 million sperm! 36 MILLION! He started out with 11 million last year went up to 16 million a few months ago and now we have within range numbers!!! The doctor actually told him that we have a good chance of getting pregnant naturally now. I know! N-A-T-U-R-A-L-L-Y! I mean we can have sex and there's a good chance that I might get pregnant because of it, how freaking weird is that!!! So I have to admit that along with all the hibernation, there has been some between the sheets action - I mean we actually have a chance now, we gotta make the most of it!

However we have both decided to go ahead with another round of IUI in January to start the New Year TTCing off with a big push, we want to maximize all our chances now. There were still some issues with motility in Mr. T's SA but the doc said that motility changes all the time, the real issue was the number of sperm. So we'll keep trying and hoping for a BFP in 2010. 

I also wanted to wish you all a happy and BFP-full new year. In the meantime have a great night tonight whatever you are doing, who knows where we will be this time next year. Pregnant? Mother with baby? Let's hope so. Otherwise.... okay let's not go there now... Happy New Year!

Become a HypnoBirthing Labor Companion/Doula

This training is coming to San Diego in February & will be amazing! Jenny West is a HypnoBirthing instructor & homebirth midwife. You will learn a lot! This would be great for doulas or anyone that has had a HypnoBirth or Hypnobabies birth.

HypnoBirthing Professional Labor Companion Workshop

Whether you have recently enjoyed the HypnoBirthing® training or you have been a practitioner for some time, this is a great opportunity for you to learn more about the practicalities and the joys of supporting a Mom as she calmly, gently and peacefully births her baby into the world.

This workshop of for those that already understand hypnosis and the benefits of a relaxed birth, however may need more information 'everything else' birth related, what's normal, what isn't, what to do when it isn't normal, how to recognize your own limits as an labor companion and when it's time to invite the buffet of technology into the birth.

Course Content:
*Defining the Role of the Professional Labor Companion*Physiology of Pregnancy*Mechanics of Birth*Belief Systems*Pain in Birth*Factors that Effect the Perception of Pain in Labor*Understanding Special Circumstances*Understanding Medical Procedures*Effective Communication with Birthing Staff*Postpartum Basics and Support*Breastfeeding Basics*Marketing Your Services*Loss, Grief and Healing

Instructor: Jenny West
Location: San Diego, CA
Date: February 8th and 9th (Mon-Tues)
We have a lovely venue at 16980 Via Tazon, Suite 260 San Diego, CA 92127

$325 for two full days of fun-filled information, workbook, at least two books filled with great information to fire you up, certification, referrals via the HypnoBirthing Institute and 16 CEU's.
Registration must be completed by January 15th.

Contact Jenny West at jenny@tubsntea. com 505-294-4359 (9-5 MST) orJennifer Lindeman (our local hostess and source of information) hypwithjenn@sbcglobal.net 858-385-9028

You will also receive a “birth related topic” for you to research and present at the Workshop.
Please keep these to one or two pages only, as each participant will be covering a different topic and duplicate copies will be given to each participant as a reference guide to use in the future. The sooner you send this form back, the better your topic choices are!

You will also be required to attend at least five births and send in completed forms in order to receive your HBPLC Certificate. These forms can be found in the back of the workbook you will receive at the workshop.

Please send this to jenny@tubsntea. com prior to the Workshop.
Thank you for your interest and I look forward to learning with you.

Jenny West, LM, CPM, HBCE, TBMP, CST, CD,KHTP,PP&E

HypnoBirthing® Professional Labor Companion Workshop Registration
Date and location of workshop you plan to attend ____________ _________ _________
Name ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
E-Mail ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
Phone ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Occupation ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _______
Degrees, certifications and licenses related to pregnancy and birth:
Number of births attended:
Hospital –
Birth Center –
Home –
1.Please write a brief biography (no more than 2 pages) describing what brought you to the place of working with women in pregnancy and birth. (Feel free to email this in a separate format, or add it to end of this sheet.)
2.Name the most important thing you would like to take away with you from this workshop.
3.It is highly recommended that you read “Heart & Hands” by Elizabeth Davis; “The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth” by Henci Goer and “Hey, Who's Having This Baby Anyway? By Breck Hawk OR anything by Marsden Wagner.

This training will be hosted by:
Jennifer Lindeman
Certified Hypnotherapist
HypnoBirthing Childbirth Educator
(858) 385-9028
www.HypnosisWithJennifer.com

www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com

Babies, Babies Everywhere

I have to tell you about last night. I was invited to a party at the house of some people I never met before but we have many mutual friends and so Mr. T and I were invited to come along. We walked into the party and it was like baby fest 2009. Seriously. Mothers breast feeding everywhere, push-chairs and baby seats galore and the pitter-patter of little feet all round us. I felt like the room was spinning. My friend who came with us, who doesn't have children, joked to the hostess of the evening, Do we have to have a baby to be able to come in, or what?

As I stood there with a fake smile plastered to my face, worried that my insecure uncomfortable IF-self would start to show, I considered my options. A quick exit  that would not be considered too rude seemed to be a good choice. I made an effort to speak with our hostess, I asked her about her home and where she had had her baby. She explained she had a home birth. She smiled at me and said birth and motherhood are the two issues I am most passionate about. It was like a knife into my stomach. I too am very passionate about birth and motherhood, in fact so passionate that I put myself through all this TTC crap, the tests, injections and everything else.. but this is not really party conversation to share with people you've just met. So I just smiled and thought, yep a quick exit is the only way to save my sanity.

 

But then other guests arrived and they brought their lovely college-aged kids. I spent the whole night talking to them about their plans, college life, the environment and politics.. it was great. They were utterly charming and completely switched on. So refreshing and wonderful to meet young people like that and it totally saved me from noticing the mass of happy new mommies all around me. I survived! 

On other news, Mr. T did his thang at the the lab on Friday and we get the results on Monday. Hoping for some good numbers!

Where? Who? What?

I have tried to write three posts since my last and I just haven't been able to. I think it's because my thoughts are all over the place and I haven't been able to write anything coherent. Mainly because I haven't been honest with myself. But it's hard to be honest with yourself when your mind is all over the place.

Half the time I'm convinced I'm relaxed about not getting pregnant anytime soon, that I'm ready just to focus on my child-'free' life and enjoy all that comes with it: going out in the evening at a moment's notice, focusing on work and just being happy with it being 'just the two of us'. The other half of the time getting pregnant, being pregnant is all I can think about, I over-analyze everything: Is Mr. T doing enough exercise, are we taking our vitamins, is there anything else we should be doing? Oh my God, I have to get pregnant or else I will just just..... what will I just? Nothing. Life will go on. And then I realize it is useless trying to control it and getting desperate about it. So I decide to give up. 

Yeah, for all of about an hour. 

How do I do this? Shall I just keep on with the trying not to think about it, even if that's what I am doing pretty much every waking hour and then also for most of my sleeping hours too? Does anyone have any tips? EEK! And the holidays are just around the corner, which I love spending with my family, but always makes me pine all the more. The emptiness is always more visceral over the holidays. And then new years... another year over, with no baby news, no motherhood for me, no additions to 'just the two of us'.  I'm not doing too well at being relaxed and the whole que sera sera attitude, am I?

If there was some medication for a crazy IF lady who has four heads and is not sure which one she is inhabiting at any given moment, I could really do with a large dose right now. 

The Story of Two Moms

Mickey Mongan, the founder of HypnoBirthing, recently did a presentation called "Believe in the Magic of Your Thoughts". She told the story of 2 pregnant mothers & how their thoughts helped create their birthing experience.

The Story of Two Moms:

This is the story of 2 beautiful pregnant mothers. They have lived side by side for many years and have become great friends. They enrolled in a HypnoBirthing childbirth class. As they attended the classes with their amazing and supportive birth companions, they realized and decided to take a brand new turn in their lives by getting rid of their worn, musty and non-functional hand-me-downs. In this process, they scheduled a moving company to come to their homes on the same day.

Birthing mother A who lived in a house with a red door, graciously welcomed the workers from the moving company. She showed them the way into her house to take everything out. As each and every piece of furniture, linen, appliances and dishware were taken away, she got more ecstatic at the process she partake. They took the last item, she closed her door and jumped for joy, excited to take another journey of shopping for new furniture and appliances.

Now, Birthing mother B who lived in the house with a blue door, was very hesitant to even open her door when the moving company came knocking. She cancelled her request of removing her hand-me-downs as she felt uncomfortable of letting go as the items had served many generations of her family. Instead, she had the items stored in the shed in the backyard.

The following day, Mom B, who had never replaced her old things, looked around and realized that her home was empty; and so she went out to the shed and took in one of the pieces of her old hand-me-downs. The following day, she did the same, and she continued, day after day, to keep retreiving bits and pieces of the old non-functional goods until, at last, she had every piece of the goods and furnishings back in her home, and she felt content surrounded by those things that she had lived with for years.

One of the moms had a wonderful HypnoBirthing; the other mom had a traditional birthing, overshadowed by interventions and management. Can you guess which was which?

Question is: Have you gotten rid of your "old stuff" - to have the calm, gentle, comfortable birth that you so desire?

Each birthing mother will bring to her birth thoughts, feelings and beliefs that she feels comfortable with, even though she thought she wanted something different. Birthing is bringing forth new life, new beginnings, new journey...then, pregnant mothers need to bring forth new thoughts, new feelings and new beliefs approaching the birth they want to achieve for their unborn baby.

Thanks, Mickey, for sharing this story!

It's so important to release the fears, doubts, & concerns you have about your birth experience & about the adjustments you'll have to make in your life so that you can go into your birthing confident without anything that can cause you to have the fear that causes the tension that causes the pain. This is why I believe HypnoBirthing classes are so valuable...because the classes allow couples to learn to get deeply relaxed so that the mother's body can do what it is naturally capable of doing PLUS the couples are able to experience several fear-releasing hypnosis sessions so that they can let go of their "old stuff".

For more information about HypnoBirthing classes in San Diego, please visit my website at www.AWellLivedLife.Net or the main HypnoBirthing website at www.hypnobirthing.com.

www.AWellLivedLife.Net
www.AWellLivedLife.blogspot.com

Dear Santa

It's been a while since I wrote you a letter for Christmas. In fact I think it's been over twenty years since I last wrote to you and handed the envelope addressed to Mr.S.Claus, North Pole, The Arctic  to my father, who promised me that on his next flight he would be sure to drop it off. I thought I must be especially lucky, as my Daddy was a pilot and so my letters got an express direct delivery. Much better than posting and relying on regular mail.  

But since those twenty years have passed a lot has changed. For a start, I began giving my Christmas list direct to my parents and cutting you out completely and now I just send a group email out to all my nearest and dearest with my Christmas wish list. It's nothing personal Santa, but since most of my wish lists seem to always start and end with the Victoria's Secret catalogue, I just didn't think you and your elves were into making lace lined push-up bras with invisible seams and removable straps..? But do let me know if you ever decide to launch a line of Santa Baby lingerie, hand-stitched by North Pole elves of course, as I do believe it will be quite a hit. 

I am writing to you Santa as I have a rather special request that no catalogue or amazon shopping cart can fulfill, not event the labyrinth souks of Marrakech can help me out with this one. So Santa I am emailing you directly and even publishing the letter on my blog (which I hope you will become a regular reader of) in the hope you can fulfill my Christmas wish this year.

Here's the thing Santa, my husband and I have wanted to have a child of our own for nearly two years. Though we happily get on with our lives and love each other so very much, there is an emptiness in our hearts that only a child can fill. We were both made to be parents, we know this much, and we are so ready to face all the challenges and difficulties that come with parenting. Having children is all we've ever really wanted. 

Santa, do you remember the time I wrote to you about that pink and purple bike, with the white wheels, colourful streamers and the flower-shaped bell that I saw in Toys 'R' Us? Do you remember the squeals of joy when I saw it propped up against the side of my house on Christmas day with a great big bow on it? Well Santa, if you could just work your magic again on this little Christmas wish I have, I promise the squeals of joy will be louder, I won't ever get bored with this Christmas gift the moment a brand new and shinier toy turns up, and I won't ever get angry at this Christmas gift when I fall off and scrape my knee. This Christmas gift I will love and cherish forever and it will make me the happiest person on earth.

Please Santa, all I want for Christmas this year is a baby.

Your dear friend, 

who has been very good this year,

Clare.

P.S There will be a large tray full of hot mince pies and steaming mulled wine waiting for you on your arrival. Home made of course, no processed pre-packaged pies for you Santa.

Back to Life

Hello there! I am back. Back to The Pitter-Patter. Back to blogging about TTCing, POASing, BFNs and the no-baby-yet blues. All done with endless hope and buckets of tears. Ahh I have missed it. Not the tears. But the writing. And I have really missed you.

Did I...?

If there is any big news that you think I just HAVE to know please drop me a comment with the link to your blog post that I missed. I have just been away too long...Thank you!

So for my update: Well there is no baby news. No surprise there. In fact if there was any baby news it would be a very holy miracle, if you catch my drift. Not only have I been working so hard that I had no time to blog, I also had no time for Mr. T. Poor poor neglected Mr. T. Well don't feel too sorry for him - he is currently in the dog house (see above picture). I'll get back to that in a moment.

So the craziness of work is over. No more coming home after midnight day after day. I can finally have my life back! I can see friends, go out for lunch, have a lie-in, go to yoga, blog (!) and just do normal life things again. Like getting back into that TTC rhythm - though the fact that all that TTC chaos seems normal to me is quite depressing. It was really nice to forget all about trying to have a baby, to forget about timed sex, IUIs and pregnancy tests. To just be me without all that. But. As soon as my event was finished and my life started to adjust back to normal, I felt empty again and realized that another month had gone by and this time there was not even a slim chance of a BFP.

This leads me to this month and Mr.T's current residence in the dog house. You see we had planned a week of relaxation. A week to just be with each other. A week that we both really needed. And it just happened to be over ovulation time too! Yay! But. Mr. T messed up. Big time. I won't share his mistake with you all but needless to say he is apologizing and having to pull out the big apology guns and the I-really-messed-up-with-my-wife gifts: chocolates, flowers, candle-lit bubble baths, dinners, breakfast in bed... he's getting there. However there was no way any bedroom fun was going to take place so this month's TTCing never happened. Which basically means no baby hopes for us anytime soon. Sigh. Big annoying frustrating sigh.

On to some slightly bizarre news... While dealing with the no-baby-hopes, I have been having a strong urge to knit. I can't knit. I have no idea how to knit. But I have a feeling that knitting is going to help me deal with my IF. I don't know why or how, but it's a gut feeling I have so I think I am going to give it a try. I'll let you know how it goes. And don't worry I won't be handing out any of my knitted experiments as Christmas gifts.

Hmmm... it's good to be back. There is so much more I need to share with you! Be back soon.