Born today after 36 hours of labour, weighing 8.9lbs. She is pretty magical and currently sleeping in Daddy’s arms.
I love her name! Can't wait to see pics... you did it mama. And boy did you do it! Respect xxx
Despite the pain I think it was undoubtedly the best experience of my life, totally rocked my whole world...
Found it really moving that you said it was the best experience of your life - not sure I felt the same, I think I felt total shock! If you have some time I wrote my birth story but be warned it is no holds barred, so probably best not to read it while you're eating ;)
I look forward to hearing all about yours - I would really recommend you write it down, very cathartic and good to look back on in the years to come.
Just read your birth story - incredible, so moving. I ended up being really high risk as blood press shot up super high for the whole labour and the waters had meconium in them. Had an epidural after 30 hours but managed to get her out without intervention which made me so so happy. The epi only worked on half of one side so I could feel the contractions there and knew when to push, which was important in the end. Had a witches coven of incredible midwives, one of whom had delivered 1000 babies herself. At one point a doctor came in with the ventouse and they just started shouting "come on, push! We won't let him near you!" wonderful. She came out in a rush 2 minutes before they were going to intervene (I only had a limited time because of the BP.) Anyway, horribly painful and exhilarating all at once. Yours sounded pretty extraordinary and I think you're so brave.
Wow good on you and your midwives for beating the ventouse! Sounds really incredible and that you had an amazing group of midwives around you. I love the feeling of all the women coming together as support and encouragement - im sure it's a rare thing in today's modern birthing environment.
Beanie Bu has just gotten over a bad spell of colic - it lasted three days, the infa.col didn't seem to be working but now has started to and we had our first day yesterday with no colic pains and she is back to her happy self. So heart breaking when she was crying..
You're probably living on another planet right now... life without normal routine and other daily markers is a very strange experience indeed.
After two days of bliss (her sleeping for three hours in the day and five at night and feeding like a dream) things have gone a bit awry with her now wanting to "cluster feed" (as I learned it was called today) every hour or so and she just vomited her entire last feed which really scared me. Did Bu ever do that? She's sleeping now, poor girl.
Glad that the colic episode has cleared up and that it wasn't too long. Gosh, can't wait to pick your brain about stuff! The whole loss of routine thing is totally, totally bizarre. Actually, I think I might find it the hardest part. I keep thinking "I must be doing... something normal - like working or shopping or having lunch out, seeing people..." and then I realised (having dipped for the first time into my baby book) that these are such precious and I guess relatively short-lived moments, when it's all about feeding, just the two of you. And so I've resolved to just sink myself deeply into it, let go of everything else and do whatever makes her happy.
Anyway, better go as she's going to want eating soon - I can hear her smacking her lips!
Ah the joys of cluster feeding! So exhausting :s Thankfully Bu has only done it twice so far... and after a while when I can't go on anymore, Mr. T takes her for a walk in the sling to distract her for a bit and I crash until they come back - this happened on our 8 year anniversary of when we met and I told him the hour sleep he gave me was the best anniversary present I ever had!!
She usually cluster feeds in the evening now just before bedtime, I figure this is her way of getting a full tummy before her night sleep. And yes she has spit up or rather exorcist style puked up entire feeds… i found that keeping her torso elevated after feeds rather than lying down flat kept more down. Though she still manages to spit up a lot....
Nice to cocoon yourself after the birth - it feels like you should do stuff because you get bursts of energy, but the most helpful thing I read was that this energy is meant to be saved not spent. And there is plenty of time after to meet people etc.. and soon enough a loose routine emerges, though it's nothing like the life we knew before!! I know every baby and every family is different but for Bu and I, our routine worked out around the 3rd week and it's been evolving and solidifying since. Our really important times are the afternoon nap between 12-3 (though she has lots of cat naps before and after) but this is the time I sleep too, and then the long night sleep between 10-3am and then 4-6/7am. Our mornings are the busiest with lots of feeds, poops and play time all happening interspersed with cat naps before our long afternoon nap which I really need by then!
Wow, sounds like you're in an amazing routine already. 10-3 and 4-6 is fantastic! I hope we can get there soon. Had small meltdown yesterday when she just wouldn't settle and I ended up feeding her pretty much for two hours, which then made me worry that I'm not producing enough milk, which is why she's not settling and feeding for so long. It's so hard to tell and I'm probably making it worse by eating not as much as I should perhaps because of tiredness and worry.
Glad that the projectile vomiting is normal and thank you for tip about keeping her upright, will do that.
I'm sure you're producing plenty of milk - if your boobs drip or leak at times, then you definitely are. She's probably just preparing for a growth spurt so she's placing her order with your brain for increased milk supply in the days ahead. I have had quite a few meltdowns - it just gets to a point when you are too frazzled to go on... that's when i find a sling comes in handy! She protests for a few mins then soon falls asleep, as babies less than 1 month (usually!) cannot keep awake with motion. Though it's best if Mr. T does it as if she is still close to my chest, the lure of the milk makes it harder to settle.
Sleeping and eating are so difficult when you don't get a moment to yourself, and yet it's so important... grrr... i have kept up with my prenatal vitamins, as they help with the quality of the milk too. And when people come to visit us I always ask them to bring food!! Ha ha ha! It's the best gift they could offer at this point! Though with the sling and her getting into more of a routine I have managed to tentatively do some cooking - even a chocolate cake which I was most proud of and *sheepishly* ate most of.... though i didn't lift a finger for the first two weeks, just totally impossible.
Thanks for the reassurance on the whole boob thing. I am definitely leaking, so I guess that's a good sign. I'm actually going to start expressing one bottle a day so that Daddy can feed her and she gets used to being bottle fed early on so no traumas later. Trying to figure out how / when to do that now... It's so much more complicated than you imagine it to be, but she more than makes up for it. I am totally totally smitten by her - more than I expected to be so early on - and Daddy is just as in love, more so even!
Hope the passport application is done quickly for you. How was the photo drama? I could not get Bu to stop lifting her hands up into the picture and then she fell fast asleep... but we managed to get one photo of her eyes half open but looking to the side and we got one full face looking forward but with eyes closed. We showed them both to the Brit Embassy and they took the eyes half open picture - where she looks drugged!
I'm very proud as we have just done our first spot of mummy baby yoga! She only managed 5 mins before she fell asleep though :) So I continued on my own... wow my body feels totally unfamiliar! Everything feels out of place and like it needs to be realigned, so glad I can finally get back into it as normal yoga is out of bounds for first 6 weeks after birth apparently, so I just started back today with gentle postnatal yoga. I feel like there's a long road ahead....
Anyway I also plan to start pumping a few bottles of milk so Mr. T can connect with Bu this way.. he has been out of it a bit and so as a result doesn't feel so confident with her. We've decided to introduce Daddy mornings/afternoons next week, and he is a little apprehensive about it, I can tell. I was told to hold off on the bottle until at least 6 weeks so that BF is really well established and there is no nipple confusion... don't know if that's important info for you, but I decided to wait until then before giving her the bottle. And then with her colic episode I've decided to wait a bit longer. So at 8 weeks, Mr. T is going to get his first full on morning with her - it really is her best time and i feel bad for him as he always misses out on these magic moments I have with her. I plan on making myself scarce so he doesn't feel like I am watching how he is with her and he can be free to explore things that work for him. And hopefully we can move up into a whole Daddy day once a week... then i can do all the things I am desperate to do - straighten hair, pedicure, leg wax... ahh bliss!
P.S Bu had a crying fit of 20 mins last night, not sure if it was colic or because I accidentally scratched her with my fingernail (how evil did I feel?), but she produced real tears for the first time! Which I have to say made it worse!! Seeing those little wet cheeks... i think a little piece of my heart actually broke off. Sigh.
Gosh, the passport thing! I was really nervous because she hates being woken up from a sleep and after a feed she's pretty much out like a light but we managed to wheel her very fast to the photo place and she was all swaddled up so just stared angelically at the camera (I think she's a bit of a diva) and that was that! Not what I expected.
Well done you for starting with the whole yoga and baby yoga thing - you're like a super mum! Haven't started thinking about exercise yet - not sure where to find the time. I feel like my days go by in a blur of eating and nappies and burping and then trying to catch an hour or two of sleep and then it starts all over again.
We just had a maternity nurse over for the day, who was amazing - she's helped loads of friends and also my sister. She's given us a whole routine, which seems perhaps a bit much after only 10 days, but I think maybe worth giving it a go as I'm really keen for her to be a good sleeper. Where did you get your routine from? Was it Jane or did Bu naturally fall into it?
So, we've already started on the bottles. In hospital I had to top her up with formula because of the light treatment for her jaundice (they have to eat and eat and eat when having it) and she cup fed for that, which she was amazingly good at. Now we do one bottle of formula a night, which Daddy gives her. Sometimes she hates it and just wants boob, sometimes (usually when it's the middle of the night) she happily guzzles 3oz and passes out. I was in a real dilemma about a) using a bottle from so early and b) using formula, but I know lots of people who've split it and it seems to be good to help with the whole transition to formula and bottle once you stop breastfeeding. I will start expressing (when my bloody pump arrives) though and we'll probably use more breastmilk from the bottle than formula then (unless I'm running low at the end of the day and she needs a top up). All seems very confusing, but just trying to muddle through and keep her as peaceful and happy as possible.
P.S from your photos it looks like Bu sleeps ALL the time! Is that the case??
No definitely not! It only takes a second to take a photo... and that's when i have time or someone else does to snap a pic!!
Basically Bu catnaps a lot. She has her main sleeps at night and then one 3 hour nap in the middle of the day and either side of that she catches naps that can last 5 mins to 45 mins... there's no pattern to it and I would rather let her go with the flow... if she needs to sleep then I let her sleep. Unless we are getting close to nap time then i try to keep her awake until then. However this won't always be the case as little by little I try to introduce a bit more structure, so eventually there should be more of a routine to this. But I don't want to start too young and I basically let her lead how the routine will go. So if I see there's a certain time she usually likes to feed or sleep or is awake and wants to be entertained then I try and remember it and copy that every day to reinforce it. But don't worry as I had absolutely no routine at all until the 3rd week and then it was more trial and error, I kept a notebook and tried to write down any patterns I saw. Sometimes this was hilarious as I would write 10.30am Asleep, 10.35am Awake, Fed, Changed, 11.00am Asleep, 11.15am Awake and on and on!! But there were some useful patterns, ones that I thought worked for both her and me and so I tried to repeat those. I also only focused on certain sections of the day and night at the beginning - so night time came first, then the mid day cat nap and now I am working on a morning routine. Lots of observation and patience! And I also have to remember to be fluid the routine will change as she does.
The one thing that has really helped me into the whole observation thing is something called Elimination Communication. Basically it's a natural toilet training alternative.. you can check it out online.. but because I have been observing Bu's times and cues for when she wants to poo, it has helped me to naturally observe her other patterns too. Now I know always when she is going to poo and so we have been catching them in a potty outside of her nappy (or on the changing mat if I can't get to the potty fast enough!! Btw our potty is just a tupperware container - small enough for her little bottom!) A lot of people don't start EC until later - but I loved the idea of observing my baby and developing this kind of communication early on, and over time it became so clear that she would poo at certain times (always during a feed for her!) I also got a book called Diaper-Free baby which is all about EC and they gave some really good clues about when newborns usually do a poo. So I built her routine around this.
I would love to know more about the maternity nurse - im sure she was a treasure of information! So do please share any tips you thought were really useful. Which breast pump did you get? I started to use mine without reading the instructions first - Doh! - not the best idea!! Nipple went into a very weird shape :s
Finding time for exercise is extremely difficult. But dont worry as they dont advise you doing anything until 6 weeks anyway, except for simple pelvic floor squeezes which I did while feeding (when I remembered!). And now I only get 15 or 20 mins of exercise anyway, which is enough for the moment... it's so hard to find a time when she is going to stay a sleep and I don't need to do something else or have just eaten and so have a full belly. But patience, patience... i'll figure it out somehow!
so, breast pump... I have to say, just expressing for two bottles'worth a day (which is what I'm doing) I would find exhausting and way too time consuming doing it manually. The electric pump takes 15-20 mins to do 5oz and you can just sit there and do emails or watch TV while it's happening. It's so much more efficient. I know it's a lot of money but if you're planning on expressing regularly for a long period of time, I think it's worth it. God, I sound like a cheap saleswoman, don't I? Anyway, absolutely no rush in deciding and if you're happy with the manual, stick with it!
Thanks for thinking of us for the breast pump - I may be interested... I have been pumping milk this week with my Medela manual and we are going to start with the bottle tomorrow as part of 'Daddy mornings' if all goes well and she has no problem with the bottle then I might want to get an electrical one. So.. can you give me a couple of days to let you know?
Really looking forward to seeing you three again, will be nice to hang out with people who are going thru what we are too!
P.S I went for my 6 week check up and Dr. B asked, so in 6 months you will be trying again? I was like WTF?? No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 years maybe!!!
Forgot to say good luck with the daddy morning! Daddy N and Baby Girl absolutely adore their feeding time together - so magical to see and so special for them. Daddy N is also an absolute genius with burping! Can't believe Dr. B was talking about more babies!! Daddy N brought it up yesterday - "so, in 9 months' time shall we try again?" I nearly smacked him.
Well Daddy morning wasn't a complete success... Bu did not like the bottle experience! We tried a number of things... different positions, different teats but when I saw it becoming too distressing we stopped. I tried later on when she was in the car seat and she did suck a couple of times but still did not look impressed and soon pushed it out of her mouth.
I have since come up with a new plan! I'm going to leave the room, so she can't see or smell me, and let my mum try feeding her with a bottle when she's not very hungry, like it's a treat, and see how she feels... I think it's best if my mum does it first as Mr T gets disheartened quickly and well my mum's done it all before... so we'll see how it goes. So for the time being I'm going to stick with the manual as I am only expressing 50ml a day which takes just a few mins... but thanks for thinking of me! I may regret the decision later on... if she does start drinking from the bottle well but I just can't imagine it at the moment.
I'm sorry that Daddy morning didn't work out - yet. It will, I'm sure, you just need to persevere and I think really good idea to have your mum do it and also not be there.
It's really hard (and upsetting) when they don't like the bottle and I had a real panic today with Daddy N gone as it was the first time I gave her the bottle since the first time I tried and she had a complete meltdown. It is massively confusing for them, it seems, but she thankfully did take it from me (I wore several layers and didn't look her in the eye!) so if she'll do that then Bu will definitely take it from Mr. T eventually. Tell him not to be disheartened - I know how he feels, but it's so worth it and so worth keeping trying.
We have finally booked out flights back. Am so, so excited. Cannot wait to be home and to see you guys and everyone else, who we've missed so much!
Daddy N is there now - in a whirlwind of cot buying and tumble dryer buying and nappies and everything that we don't have. All we have is a steriliser so the house is totally unprepared for Baby Girl, but we're getting there. I am a sucker for having her in bed with us (and always take her in in the afternoons for serious snuggle time) but I do want her to learn to sleep by herself and I also find it really hard sleeping with her snuffly noises, which either break my heart or make me worry...
Conversations to be continued....
