We weren't doing a baby dance. No. This was just about us. It just happened to fall at the same time as I was ovulating. And it happened a little more than once. We're not meant to get pregnant this month, we have to wait for my body to clear all the lead. So should we have been careful? I cannot help but guffaw loudly at such a suggestion. Yeah. Right. Be. Careful. As. Bloody. If.
It's not like it's taken us over a year of dedicated trying without once getting near to seeing those two pink lines. It's not like my husband has been told he won't get me pregnant (though his little guys do seem to be improving). It's not like we've been hoping, dreaming, wanting, crying for this baby. Except that, it's exactly how it is. So being cautious would be unnecessary right? Right. Obviously. For sure. Absolutely.
Except. I can't help thinking that. Maybe. Maybe it will follow Murphy's law: wanting to get pregnant, don't get pregnant. Not wanting to get pregnant... well let's see. Let's see whether my unwelcome visitor decides to turn up. Or not? Though I'm going to take a leaf out of many of my fellow bloggers' books and repeat the mantra: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. And just in case you were wondering - becoming pregnant would not be the worst. Even with my not fully-lead free body, it would still be the best. I hope that doesn't sound selfish or stupid - sometimes infertility clouds your mind and all you want is that BIG FAT POSITIVE.
That is my confession. God forgive me.
