I have started 2011 off with being in a panic and a really bad cold. My nose is blocked (and at the same time constantly running), neck glands starting to get swollen and chest beginning to hurt. My nose is so raw from the constant blowing I can barely touch it, ouch. I have filled up carrier bags with my used tissues, gross. And since this came on yesterday, the nausea and sore boobs have disappeared (but not the food aversions). I panicked. Am panicking. Still. A bit.
Mr. T phoned Dr. S to discuss this all and basically I have this dastardly cold because I have compromised my immune system by eating all the things I am allergic too. Such as bread and potatoes. When Mr. T told me what Dr. S said I burst into tears out of frustration as those have been the only things I could eat without vomiting. The only things that took away my nausea. But Dr. S said it was vital that I stick to the diet and also eat some meat. Gag.
My mum then came into my room and gave me a stiff talking to. Which I needed at the time. Power through. Mind over matter. And don't beat yourself up about what's done. I got out of bed, had a shower (which I desperately needed) and went for a short walk - determined to change the last week's pattern. So wheat and potatoes are back off the menu and due to my blocked nose my sense of smell is virtually nil, which enabled me to take a few spoonfuls of minced lamb yesterday. I think I might try and take further advantage of my lack of smell as it means I can eat a range of foods without gagging. So that's my silver lining at the moment I guess.
However as I am at the same stage the baby stopped growing last time, I am nervous. Nervous that something might be wrong. Often there are no signs for a missed miscarriage, however one of the signs can be a tapering off of pregnancy symptoms, and so when the nausea and sore boobs abated (which is still the case) I panicked. I am panicking. Still. A bit. Eeek. I am so worried that the sudden weakness of my pregnancy symptoms might mean another missed M/C. So so scared. But trying to be positive. Not to imagine the worst. I keep telling myself that there's nothing I can do if there is a problem, nothing anyone can do. So I just have to ride it out.
Not the best start to 2011. But usually when I have a crappy new year's eve, I have a good year. And when I have a good new year's eve I have a crappy year. So here's hoping.
