You see I convinced myself that not hoping too much, not having too much faith in it ever happening, was the best way to protect myself. But friends keep telling me how important it is to have hope and to use positive visualization. So in fact I have to believe I am pg, in order to make it happen, and that being negative may effect the outcome. But, but, I protest. I can't be positive, because if I am then I face the prospect of the even bigger disappointment if/when all is revealed, and I am not. Not being positive is my way of protecting myself.
But it's not healthy. I know that.
So what to believe? How to face the catch 22? Well... I have made up my mind. I think. I have decided that this cycle will be.... POSITIVITY! I might as well give it a go, right? I've even been doing positive visualization and little positive chants to myself: I believe there is a little blasto settling into the lining of my womb, I believe my baby is starting its journey and is getting comfy in it's new home. Om.... positive visualization everyone. Say it with me. Om....
And if I'm wrong? My heart will heal. It will have to.
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Apologies for my long blogging delays. I will be blogging less frequently in the next few weeks. I am coordinating a big event taking place next month and we are really getting down to the wire with all the planning and organizing that has to be done. I am working late nights and will be starting weekends soon. So please accept my apologies for not reading your posts as often as I would like. I will do my best to keep you updated and keep updated with you. Until then best of luck with all the TTCing!
