Hours later the red lady sang her first note. And I cried the first of many hysterical tears last night. I still feel numb. Angry. Depressed. And just generally f@*ked off. I'm still fighting back tears as I try to process it all.
It's so hard to believe it will ever happen for us at times like these. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER repeats in my head. Did I ever believe it was really possible? I think some hypnotism would be good for me. I need to believe this can happen for us. I just can't believe something so amazing as being pregnant, could happen to me...?
Another month, another cycle added to the steadily growing mountain of TTC months. Where am I at now? (Counting).. twenty. Twenty months. I HATE IF.
