So we headed down to Dr. B's office. I was really disheartened at this point and completely drained emotionally. Looking back on it, that was probably a good thing. It stopped me from being nervous or excited about the procedure. I was convinced it was too late already.
Once in the clinic, I put on the gorgeous backless green gown and assumed the position. Bottom scooched down, legs in a position my grade 7 religious education teacher would definitely have disapproved of. Mr. T was by my side as we waited for Dr.B to prepare all the various metal instruments about to be inserted into me. I forgot to mention before that Dr. B likes to play music in his clinic. A lot. The very high-tech sound system is hooked up all over the office. He plays nasheed music non-stop. This is basically Islamic choir music. One of the most famous nasheed singers is Sami Yusuf. This is who Dr. B likes to play.
Dr.B began. I could hear the music all around me as it started to get quite uncomfortable with all the instruments shoved in down there. Kind of like having a mouth full of metal braces and then some. I felt the catheter go in, this always makes me tense as hell. Then just as Dr.B was pushing through Mr. T's this-is-one-I-prepared-earlier (or should that be two?), the tone of the music changed. The room was suddenly filled with a dramatic rumbling DUN-DUN-DUHHH!! DUN-DUN-DUHH!! Mr.T cracked up and started mimicking the dramatic music, which made me laugh. Don't make me laugh! I said through clenched teeth. Yes please don't laugh, said Dr.B. Oops, had I just pushed out all Mr.T's hard-worked for spermies? No, it was fine. The insemination had gone well. Out came the instruments. Ahh what a relief! And then Dr.B changed the elevation of the bed so I was virtually lying upside down. Well nearly anyway. So I just kinda hung out there - feeling like David Blaine. Reflecting on the weirdness of the day and how I couldn't believe we had actually done it and got through it, that we had actually made it to this point.
One of the lovely nurses came to speak with me. She was wishing me well and said she prayed that this would be it for us. We started speaking about a number of things including adoption. Most babies put up for adoption in Morocco are from young unmarried women. You see, it's against the law to have a baby outside of marriage here. It forces so many women down difficult paths and leaves them with few choices. Even Mr.T and I were asked for our marriage certificate when we were at the clinic at the start of this IUI process. She asked me how it was in the UK. Unmarried women can have babies there right? It's not a problem? She asked. No, it's not a problem. Unmarried women have children all the time, I replied. She smiled. That's better, she said. Otherwise women sometimes do awful things. They can't tell anybody, they are so frightened of their families. We smiled at each other. She in her headscarf and me in my backless green gown, lying upside down.
When I was finally released from my bat-like position, we went in to see Dr.B. He told me to begin my progesterone the next day and continue it for the next 15 days. You can take them orally or vaginally, as you wish, he instructed. Erm... well I know which I prefer. But is it more effective if they're closer to the site in question?? I told him we were flying to Paris and then on to London next week, would this be okay? Not a problem he reassured me. I told him I was grateful to have done the IUI at his office and not in the clinic-from-hell. He smiled. Yes it's better here. You can relax, have some music... Oh no, not the music again Dr.B!
Mr.T and I went back to our hotel room and crashed. What a mofo of a day. But I only slept for all of about twenty minutes. There was just too much adrenalin and stress running through my body, despite having done a round of acupuncture the day before to calm me down. I proceeded to watch three different movies on the ipod. Thick as Thieves - fairly good. 88 minutes - terrible. Crips & Bloods, Made in America - compelling, thought-provoking stuff. I got all that movie watching done while Mr.T was snoring away beside me. Well he had worked hard and under very difficult conditions. Bless him.
So the plan of action is to wait and see if AF shows up and then if not POAS. I will be visiting my parents back in the UK at the end of the TWW, so at least I can get some pregnancy tests that I'm used to, if I need them. Emphasis on the IF.
On a side note, my MIL did something different. Something she has never done before. The next day she came to me and apologized. She apologized for not being thoughtful, for not realizing, she explained that we were brought up in different cultures and that she needed to understand me better. She was sorry for what had happened yesterday and sorry for any pain or hurt I felt. She gave me a box of handmade chocolates she went out and bought for me especially, as a way of saying sorry.
This is the first time she had ever done this. It meant a lot to me and I'm grateful she made this effort to establish a better relationship between the two of us. If my IUI day taught me anything, it taught me to realize that this is a crazy unpredictable world, and whatever you think can never happen, can and often will. I just hope this comes true for us and our maybe baby.
