Terrified

Okay so I got my BFP. But I am finding it hard to celebrate. I was at first completely head over heels excited. But now. Now I am terrified that something I do is going to make me lose it. It is so early and everything seems so delicate and so unsure. I am terrified that as I write this now it is already all over before it has really begun. I did test again this morning and it was positive. You see it looks good right:

But then things got complicated. I had to go to work today. I just accepted a new job - yes on the day I found out I am probably pregnant. I have so many conflicting emotions about it. Anyway I obviously couldn't tell my boss and she just heaped so much stuff on to me, I started to feel overwhelmed and that maybe I had made the wrong decision. The baby comes first. But this is a good opportunity. So I felt very stressed today - which is not what I am meant to be doing. I should be relaxing and chilling. And now I am worried that the stress from today will have affected our little apple seed if it is still there. 

I know I probably sound a bit mental. But it has been a very intense day. Found out I'm most likely pregnant. Start new job. Run around all day. Get home late. Can't sleep. Not exactly the way I imagined it all. I go into get my blood test done tomorrow morning - which I have to squeeze in between important meetings (God knows how I am going to do it). And I am terrified. Terrified that it will already be over.