There's so much I need to write about. So many emotions. So many questions. So much to say to all of you. But I received such an amazing email from a dear friend today. The wisdom and care in her words brought tears to my eyes and I knew that I just had to share it with you all. So for now I will just leave you with her words and wait to share mine later.
I just wanted to write to you properly to say congratulations again. I was so sure that this was going to happen for you and T and I'm really excited... You know, our babies are going to have more or less the same age difference as us. I'm now going to offer the only I advice I will ever give because, let me assure you, you are soon going to get really really really fed up of hearing unsolicited advice from other people. So, my number one all time piece of advice (which a friend also gave me at the beginning of my pregnancy) is to stop listening to anyone's advice except people who you really trust and who you know are on the same wave length as you (and maybe not even them). This is the most emotionally vulnerable time you'll ever go through and it's really easy for people to guilt trip or headf**k you into thinking you are doing something wrong, and believe me, EVERYONE has opinions on motherhood. I don't even want to tell you about what people here have to say about home birth, which is what we're planning... let alone the idea of using cloth nappies... and a million other things that we are doing differently to them and which obviously freaks then out. (People really don't seem to like if if you do anything too natural that flies in the face of western medicine). Even things like "You shouldn't eat spicy food" (uh-huh, so that's how India became overpopulated) or "What do you mean you don't drink half a liter of milk a day" (Ditto China). This hilarious book I have says that the best tactic now and after the baby is born too is just to make a placid face like a cow and nod and say "You might be right" and then change the subject and do whatever the hell you want to do. Don't let other people's doubts become yours. And remember that if the little creature is OK there's not much that can shake him or her out of there. Half the women in the world still give birth in the fields practically.
So shut your ears and focus on you and T and little proto-creature. Other than that, I'd say definitely get What to Expect When You're Expecting, there's a quite recent British edition, and it's funny and very informative and presents all sides of all arguments and has lots of useful pragmatic advice. I know you already have Ina May's book, which is amazing. And just enjoy it all... It's such a beautiful time. So that's the end of my advice. But if there's anything else you ever want to ask me about, you know I'm here.
Everything with us is great. I am beginning to feel a bit like a walrus, soon to graduate to a whale. Like both these animals, I am at least graceful in the water - I've taken up swimming classes as I've been forbidden from running (same reason as you and power yoga) and it's fabulous. Take good care of yourself and just breathe deep and think of all the wonderful things ahead.
PS I didn't have much nausea but when I did fresh ginger grated into hot water totally saved me. When I was out, rooiboos chai tea bags were almost as good.
