No Baby at 29

The bitch is here. AF arrived just as I was starting to have hope. It certainly has an uncanny sense of timing. But at least I didn't POAS this month. I managed to hold off and have some self-control! But. This cycle was my last chance for a baby before I was thirty. I now have to try and learn to accept that I will not be the young twenty-something mother I wanted to be.

 

I had always planned to have had at least one child before I turned thirty but that is never going to happen now. And it's a hard fact to swallow. I guess it's just another sad milestone on this journey, one I will eventually learn to accept and to live with. It's not like I have any other choice. And it has depressed me. A lot. I never thought I'd be here. I never thought that with all my planning, all my TTC calculations - that I'd actually be in this position. 

And so the goalposts shift. As they so frequently do in this TTC game. A baby before Xmas 2010? A baby before I turn 31? I'm almost too afraid to ask.