It's nearly been a week since my IUI. I am starting to get on board the maybe-pregnancy crazy train. Everyday I look up pictures of blastocyst development, imagining what my little blastie might be doing, if there is even one there. If we are blessed enough, and fertilization has taken place, then implantation would be happening around the next few days. I am following this TWW day by day, google search by google search, twinge by twinge.
Choo choo, all aboard the crazy train!
On the day of my IUI when I was being scanned in the morning, I was left alone in the ultrasound room at the clinic. I went over and looked at all the ultrasound pictures hanging on the wall. Black and white fuzzy pictures of recognizable baby forms. I stared for a particularly long time at the smallest baby - still very much in embryo form and I instinctively reached out and gently touched the picture. To have a connection with it. To believe that one day this would be my ultrasound scan I was staring at. I just want this one. Just this little itty bitty one. The tears started to well up in my eyes and I suddenly remembered I better get my underwear on before Dr.B starts to wonder what I am doing in here.
Time to stop staring at ultrasound scans that aren't mine. Time to stop looking at blastocyst day-by-day development - blastocysts that aren't mine. Time to just breathe and have hope. Maybe, maybe, maybe, baby?
I really really really want this. Sigh.
